


oh. (you didn't know.)

by paperfolds (starfolds)



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Unrequited Crush, established karl/vlad, pining!russell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfolds/pseuds/paperfolds
Summary: Russell confesses the afternoon before their final exam for a subject Karl has no need for beyond the ending semester.
Kudos: 14





	oh. (you didn't know.)

**Author's Note:**

> Because I am eternally weak for one-sided, unrequited love narratives.

Russell confesses the afternoon before their final exam for a subject Karl has no need for beyond the ending semester.

Well, it wasn't a _proper_ _confession_ , not really. It's been five minutes since Karl had said, "idlip na muna ako. Ang sakit na ng mata ko, eh." And Karl, being notorious for his ability to power nap anywhere and everywhere, should've already been asleep.

Because Karl is very sure Russell didn't mean for him to hear this:

"Kung hindi lang talaga kita mahal, Karl."

The words are muffled, like maybe Russell had whispered them behind his hand—he has this habit of leaning his chin on his palm, doesn't he, Karl?—with the usual tinge of exasperation and fondness and teasing that Karl is so used to getting from him.

Karl feels frozen in his seat. His thumbnail digs painfully into the corner of his pointer finger, the only movement he allows himself to do. At least most of his face is already buried in his arms, the desk cool under his cheek.

He doesn't want Russell to notice that he's awake. He doesn't want to have to pretend not to have heard anything. He doesn't want to look up and see Russell's usual tilted head with eyes affixed on him, as always, and have them mean something else.

See the intent that has always—apparently—been there.

He may be braver now than he has ever been his entire life, but Karl is not brave enough to confront this.

An entire semester's worth of friendship flashes by behind his closed eyes, to the tune of the constant scratching of Russell's pencil.

_"Wala ka nanamang barya, 'no? Ako na lang."_

_"Huy Karl, 'san ka na? Malapit na matunaw 'tong mango shake mo, bilisan mo kaya."_

_"Akala ko mas gusto mo sa harap umupo?"_

_"It's fine, okay na rin dito sa likod. Tabihan na lang kita, baka sakaling 'di na ako yung laging tinatawag ni Ma'am."_

_"Karl!!! May nakita 'kong secondhand na Canlas. Binili ko na, may ibang nakatitig eh. 'Daan ko na lang sa classroom mo bukas."_

_"I know you're still awake. Alas tres na huy, hindi bawal matulog."_

_"Nagsalita ang hindi gising."_

_"Ahem, if you must know—kakagising ko lang. I slept at eleven, a very decent hour. Hindi kaya ako ang may 7 a.m. class."_

_"Oo na, eto na, matutulog na."_

_"Utang na loob ko pa talaga na matutulog ka 'no, Karl?"_

It hasn't been just one semester though—has it? They did meet during Karl's very first day in class last year. Russell was just… always there. Has always been there. He was that guy in class who always had paper to spare for everyone else, who came to Karl's rescue when the ink of his sole ballpen exploded inside his pocket. He would nudge Karl awake and lend him the notes he missed after. Always ready to explain, always ready to answer any question. Always with the unspoken invitation.

It was Karl who always chose to be alone, who was always more comfortable with doing things on his own. He was the one who always declined, who rushed off first, who brushed away lengthy conversations with his classmates with abrupt answers.

Yes, he didn't know how to make friends, but he didn't exactly allow himself to _have_ them either.

Yet Russell was one of the few who kept trying, wasn't he? Who always lingered close, but never close enough to hover or demand. Just—waiting, really. For Karl to maybe open his door so he could peek inside.

And then the semestral break happened and with it came Vlad, who blasted his way past that very same door, who upended Karl's entire world to unearth everything that Karl had painstakingly tried to bury and deny.

"Parang may iba sa'yo," Russell had said when they studied together for the first time.

(Karl had stared at Russell's text message for a long time before he finally accepted the invitation, Anna's _"lumabas ka,"_ echoing in his head.)

"Pinayagan na kasi akong mag-shift." It took a deep breath and a hidden clenched fist before Karl was able to say it, but say it he did, with an added smile of relief. It's still daunting, opening himself up to people, but—he's trying. He really is.

Russell, eyes wide with surprise and something that Karl couldn't quite define, reached forward to quickly squeeze Karl on the shoulder.

"Huy, congrats! Kaya naman pala grabe ka makasimangot dun sa mga plates natin last sem."

"Tinawid ko yun, ha!" Karl laughed.

"So sa'n ka lipat?" Russell asked.

"Film."

"Wow. Okay at least I can claim that at one point in my life naging partner ko si future hotshot writer/director Karl Almasen."

"Hindi ba dapat other way around, ikaw yung magiging hotshot, yamanin na architect."

"Pfft, that's nothing to having your films shown all over the world."

Karl had shaken his head in denial, had merely laughed it off. Russell had kept on with the good-natured teasing. They shared three classes that semester, and always partnered up when needed.

He's really been always there. Never asking, never demanding. Just… there.

And Karl never really noticed.

And now he's here, pretending to be asleep in the library while hiding from the realization that he's been taking for granted this one friend who had—impossible as it may sound—actually fallen for him.

Russell hums low under his breath. Karl bites his lower lip.

What in the world is he supposed to say?

The phone lying face-down by his elbow starts to vibrate; Karl startles. He rubs his eyes awake (unnecessarily) and flips the phone over.

It's Vlad, calling.

It's Vlad, coming to his rescue.

This friendship he shares with Russell is too easy, too laid-back, and addressing this straightforward will tip the balance and Karl—it's always easier for Karl to run.

"Hello Vlad?"

"Hey, my meeting just ended. Daanan na ba kita? Or I could just swing by in an hour or so if hindi ka pa ready."

"Ano yun, mag-aantay ka lang ng isang oras?"

"No, 'di ba may newly opened na Korean grocery that I've been wanting to check out. So if you're still studying, I could do that muna."

Karl glances up (finally) at Russell, who mouths 'ok lang' at him.

"Sure ka?" Karl says.

"Yeah, it's fine, 'di ba I need to buy a new tub of gochujang."

Russell gives Karl a thumbs up.

"Hindi, ano. Pasundo na lang na. Kanina pa rin masakit ulo ko, natulog na nga ako eh."

"Hala. Sige, we'll go straight home na. I'm just about to exit the building, so give me mga 10-15 minutes to get there."

"Okay, salamat."

Vlad huffs. Karl could almost hear the grumbled, "'Sus, 'kaw pa." before the call ends.

"Huy, sorry. Pero masakit na rin talaga ulo ko."

"The hell are you even saying sorry for, ano ka ba. Ako ang mas kelangan pumasa dito—hindi mo naman na sya pre-req, remember?"

"Eh kasi, last study session na natin, tapos iiwan pa kita."

Russell sighs dramatically and clutches his chest. "Sanay naman na akong iniiwan." He laughs after. "O, ayan. 'Pag casting ka na, 'wag mo 'ko kalimutan ha."

Karl grins. Maybe things don't have to change.

"Parang imposible ka naman makalimutan."

Russell leans his cheek on his palm again, his elbow on the desk. Eyes, soft and warm. He smiles.

(And Karl feels his own heart break a little for him.)

"Pero seryoso, good luck sa'yo ha. I hope your new path brings you nothing but happiness."

"Grabe naman 'to. Parang 'di na tayo magkikita. May subjects pa naman na pwede natin kunin ng sabay."

"True. But you never know."

But things _will_ always change, no matter how much one tries to keep them the same. Karl himself should know better.

He has a feeling that they won't share classes again. That they won't hang out in the middle of free periods while reviewing for quizzes or cram essays in the library. That there won't be a mango shake waiting on his seat on Thursdays, with Karl sneaking in his payment for it in the side pocket of Russell's satchel.

That an inevitable distance will occur.

Karl starts packing his things. Slowly. He insults Russell's handwriting again just because he can, because he doesn't know when he'll be able to do it again.

His phone vibrates, this time with a text message.

"Una na 'ko, Russell."

"Yep, go. Ingat kayo ni Vlad."

"Kita-kits na lang bukas."

And so Karl leaves, without looking back. Because he never does, and he never used to. But he sneaks a glance this time before exiting the library doors, at that boy now wearing earphones and sketching intently.

At that boy he never really saw before.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](https://twitter.com/pairalin_/status/1335889343769006082?s=19).


End file.
